Every Friday I make braised steak in gravy for dinner. Every Friday I serve it to the children and twenty minutes later scrape it, uneaten, into the bin amidst cries of I hate gravy, it’s not fair, my friends ALWAYS have pizza on Friday. Today, I decided to save time and cost. I bought a large tin of Tesco value dog meat chunks in gravy, and served it up with potatoes and green beans.

Tonight, they all ate their dinner. Next Friday they can have pizza.